How to cope well with stress

We may not realise it, but stress is neither good or bad – it’s more like temperature – we can either be cold or hot and neither is necessarily better or worse than the other. But want we want is to be able to cope with that process, to decide how to cope with whatever the temperature is at a particular time. For instance, if it’s freezing cold in winter, we turn the heating up or put on warm clothes; if it’s sweltering hot in summer we wear loose, light clothing and stay in the cool place. In other words, we can move up and down the temperature scale to make ourselves wamer or cooler. It’s just the same with stress, or what we could call, more helpfully, levels of alertness and relaxation.

Sometimes it’s very useful to be at a high level of alertness. We could think of our level of relaxation and alertness as a scale from 0-100, 100 being the most severe stress it’s possible to experience, down to zero, which is a state of complete relaxation. For example, a fireman or woman coping with a raging fire needs to be at a high level of alertness to do the job really effectively, as fire can be very dangerous. At that time he or she might need to be at about 60-80 on the stress scale. But what actually happens to some of us is that, in today’s demanding world with all its speed and pressures, people typically push themselves higher up the stress scale than they really need to be. For example 100 might be the level of alertness we would need if we were being attacked by a sabre tooth tiger and in fear of our lives! In modern life, it is, thankfully, only rarely that we need to experIence the level of alertness, or highly stressed state, that is needed when fighting for survival. Unfortunately, what happens is that when someone becomes anxious, they can push themselves straight up to 100 on the stress scale, AS IF they were fighting for survival, some experiencing panic attacks, leading to phobias, and entrenched feelings of anxiety. This is very bad for the body and mind, placing a strain on our systems and sometimes, as a result, leading to bodily and mental illnesses.

So what can we do to prevent ourselves from allowing feelings of stress to escalate to the top of the scale? Well, most of the time, we rarely need to be much above 50 of alertness on that stress scale, as, for example, when coping with a challenging day at the workplace or at home working when looking after children. If we keep within, say, 30-50 on the scale, the feelings of stress do not need to escalate out of our control, because that level of alertness is appropriate for that particular situation. If we are enjoying a stimulating socical occasion, for instance, we may want to be at 30-40 on the scale of alertness and relaxation. If we are enjoying a lazy evening at home with close friends or relatives, we might want to be at no more than 10-20 on the scale of alertness and relaxation. But when we are on holiday, relaxing or maybe having one of those days of just taking it easy at home, a day of complete winding down, feeling calm and very relaxed – then we may find ourselves as low as between 0-10 on the scale of alertness and relaxation.

So what we CAN do to cope effectively with stress is to find a number between 0 and 100 that is the level that is right for us in each of these four types of situations, such as:

a) A challenging work situation: 40-50
b) A stimulating social occasion: 30-40
c) A pleasant, relaxing time with close friends or relatives we get on well with: 10-20
d) A time of complete relaxation, winding down, and tranquillity: 0-10.

Now there are many ways we can, through hypnotherapy or self-hypnosis, use these numbers to symbolise the level of alertness or relaxation we need for each type of situation we come across in our daily lives. This may be done through visualisations, use of sound, or other techniques used regularly and safely in hypnotherapy practice.

It’s a wonderful thing to be able to cope with stress successfully, seeing it not as an enemy but as a natural state that needs to be managed effectively in order to avoid bodily and mental distress and enjoy our lives much more healthily and happily.

So now you have the tools at hand to cope with stress much more effectively, you can make a start in letting go of the fear of stress, and feeling as relaxed or alert as you need to be for all whatever situation comes up in your life. Enjoy!